As I was perusing my timeline this morning (yes, I am that twitter starved that checking my timeline is one of the first things I do in the day. It is a sad truth in my life that now the rest of the internet knows. I have no shame.) I’ve noticed that common theme that most of the twitterverse comments on these days is the tendency for mainstream pop artists to write and profit off of songs based off of break ups. This isn’t necessarily a new venture in regards to music (a lot of blues artists will further attest to this) but the prodigious amount of material produced by the same artists in the similar vein makes it prevalent in our society. The common question that further comes from this observation is to imagine what would happen if any of these artists dated each other, and then eventually break up, and how fantastic that song would be. Its true: judging from their respective songs release dates, these pop stars relationships last about as long as your average Game of Thrones episode. And indeed, the break up songs coming from a relationship of break up savants would be glorious, akin to the basketball played by the 1992 Dream Team. And its a shame that those songs presumably won’t see the light of day, unless Goyte somehow becomes involved with Taylor Swift. However, I have a solution that I believe would alleviate this problem.
Along with this revelation in terms of musicians and their tendency to write break up songs in this day and age, comes the advent of music television shows. So, I decided to combine these two things (that are currently popular in our culture right now) with something that will always remain cool no matter how often our culture might change: March Madness. Combining all three of these facets, we are faced with the greatest reality show/pop culture tournament the earth has ever seen (not to toot my own horn too much), and one that settles once and for all the age old question of who would truly write the better break up song if they were given the opportunity.
The format would go as follows: There would be a bracket of 32 artists (at minimum, it could eventually be upped to more, much like how the NCAA tournament went) These 32 artists would be seeded by overall “success” (determined through variables such as net worth, grammys, etc.) From these seedings, they would be paired off into individual match ups. During these individual match ups, the artists would go on 3-4 dates. From these dates, an issue arises that forces that relationship to end abruptly, potentially placing blame on the other artist. After this issue arises, the artists are both given 3 days to write a break up song, which is then performed in front of a live/televised audience, who then votes who moves on in the tournament, until only one artist remains. That Artist then receives a championship belt embroidered with the wall painting thing from the “Somebody that I used to Know” video.
Now this is a very rudimentary foundation of what the show could end up being, but it definitely has some potential. It combines hit factors from reality shows like The Voice with the hyper competitiveness of March Madness (and yes, there would be brackets), and would include the creation of at least 2 new break up songs every week, which men and women of all ages can all post as their facebook status when they are spurned by an interested party.
Much like the songs that are so heavily talked about, some people may scoff at this idea. but they’d have a hard time to admit they wouldn’t at least tune in. I know I certainly would.